the power of positive thinking

I read this article a few days back and really thought it was great.





The path of happiness and contentment is paved with positive thoughts. Give positivity a chance and watch it transform your life. - Jeevan D'Cunha

A story is told of an old man who sat on his charpoy along the road-side watching travellers go by. One day a traveller approached him and asked how the people in his village were. Instead, the old man asked him how the people in his village were. The traveller replied, "They are cold, selfish, uninteresting and always fighting." The old man sadly nodded his head and said that the people in his village too were the same.
Some time later another wayfarer came that way and asked the old man the same question. He too was asked how the people in his village were. The traveller excitedly said, "The people in my village are warm, caring, loving and helpful." To this the old man replied that the people in his village too were warm, caring, loving and helpful!

The story brings out an important truth in our own journey towards happiness and peace and the secret lies in the way we process and give meaning to what is happening around us. Our thinking is like a lens through which we view the world. It colors the way we feel, determines the language we use, and impacts the quality of our relationships. It may seem obvious that if we think positively our overall attitude, disposition and the quality of our relationships will also be positive. But this is easier said than done. The nature of relationships is such that it does not matter what the quality of our relationships is, we are bound to encounter moments of conflict from time to time. The reason for this is simple - our individuality. We have our own way of seeing the world and understanding all that happens around us. It does not matter how close we are to some or how many years we know the other; there will always be times when our views do not agree with theirs.

Think up!

The way we deal with these problems and disagreements will determine how successful our relationships are as well as how long they'll last. This is precisely where positive thinking can be of assistance to us. All of our feeling, beliefs and knowledge with regard to our relationships are based on our internal thoughts, both conscious and subconscious. It is important to remember that we are in control, whether we know it or not. Positive thinking can have a significant and positive impact on the quality of our relationships!

We, however, often encounter a certain resistance to positive thinking, dismissing it as a feel-good intervention that really does not work in the long run. One reason is that our focus is in the wrong place. So we say, "I don't want to fight with my spouse," and believe that this thought will prevent us from fighting. And where is our focus? On fighting! Because the universe does not recognize "not" or "don't". How many times have you told yourself NOT to forget something and then... oops... you've forgotten it! Remember, the Law of Attraction as defined by Abraham Hicks states that "you attract to yourself what you give your attention and energy to, whether wanted or unwanted".

Another reason why positive thinking doesn't seem to work is that we often veil our negative feelings with a positive surface. So we say, "I want a loving relationship." Sounds good right? Except that underneath there is the hidden message that having a loving relationship wouldn't even be important - unless we've been in one or a series of not-so-loving relationships. So it's the hidden message and negative feelings around it that is still coming through. Ultimately, we are pushing against something that will still be counterproductive. We're likely to attract more unloving relationships, even though we THINK we've stated otherwise.

Making amends

How can we begin to reverse this? The first step in making a positive impact on our relationships is to start with ourselves. We need to recognize, realize and accept that each one of us is special and unique and that there is no other like us. We are so special that the world needs us and would be incomplete without our presence. Without comparing yourself to anyone, try making an honest appraisal of your strengths and weaknesses and list them out so that you can realize how wonderful and blessed you are.

The next step is to recognize what we want from life and our relationships. More often than not, we hide our real expectations behind cultural or gender norms and then think we are not being valued or treated with care and respect. Knowing what we want enables us to be more proactive in asking for it so that we feel fulfilled and help others feel fulfilled too. But rather than focusing merely on our thoughts, we need to start visualizing and sensing what we truly desire. The focus should be on ramping a good, positive, energetic feelings about what we desire, rather than merely the thought. Relationship affirmations are a great means of positively impacting our ties. They are simple statements that we can repeat to ourselves that summarise the way we would like to think, feel, or behave in certain situations. For instance, instead of thinking, "This problem may be the end of our relationship, " we could have positive affirmations such as, "Conflictions are not the end of our relationship but anopportunity to grow. We can survive anything because our foundation is rock solid."
To make our affirmations effective, they should -
- Be made in the present tense
- Be positively phrased
- Have a normal emotional reward.

Practically, we can do all this building a "creation box" of pictures, ideas and notes, to stimulate our imagination of how we would like things to be. We can start off by appreciating life's abundance in what we already have by -
- Keeping an appreciation journal
- Feeling and acting like the prosperous people we actually are
- Channeling our good feelings into what we desire.

Live your life as though you already have what you desire and you'll make way for it to come to you.

Finally, we need to bear in mind an important lesson that life teaches us: It is in giving that we receive! How often have we waited for the other to give first before we give in a relationship and the result is that we are just left waiting? But try taking that first step and we will begin to see an amazing transformation in the quality of our relationships.
Remember that each one of us is unique and special in unbelievable ways and without us the world would be a poorer place. Positive thinking is about recognizing that I am lovable and that I can love others too. When we actively seek to help others achieve what they can become in their lives, we will be surprised at how they help us achieve our potential too. Positive thinking enables us to achieve a win-win situation, and it all starts with being receptive to positive thoughts and opening our minds.

"The mind is like a parachute... if it isn't open it isn't going to work."

:)